“It has been one of the greatest and most difficult years of my life. I learned everything is temporary. Moments. Feelings. People. Flowers. I learned love is about giving. Everything. And letting it hurt. I learned vulnerability is always the right choice because it is easy to be cold in a world that makes it so very difficult to remain soft. I learned all things come in twos. Life and death. Pain and joy. Salt and sugar. Me and you. It is the balance of the universe. It has been the year of hurting so bad but living so good. Making friends out of strangers. Making strangers out of friends. Learning mint chocolate chip ice cream will fix just about everything. And for the pains it can’t there will always be my mother’s arms. We must learn to focus on warm energy. Always. Soak our limbs in it and become better lovers to the world. For if we can’t learn to be kind to each other how will we ever learn to be kind to the most desperate parts of ourselves.”
~ Rupi Kaur
Vulnerability. This is one word that should be acted upon in one’s life more often. People tend to stray away from being vulnerable, for when one is vulnerable they are their true self.
I never was able to be truly vulnerable. I think it may have been my biggest fear. Some days it still is. On my best days I forget how hard some days still could be. My therapist calls it “riding the wave of emotions.” On the days it is even tiring to breathe, having to be vulnerable feels like getting a shot. You get nervous before it. When you start acting upon it you feel that uncomfortable pinch and as it gets deeper inside of you, you feel the tension grow in your body. It is scary. It truly feels like you are running around the halls at school completely naked. But vulnerability does not have to feel this way.
My whole idea of vulnerability changed when I first posted my journey on my Instagram. When I spoke about who I truly was rather than the idea of who people though I was, it felt freeing. It made me think of why I was so scared of being vulnerable before. I believe that the people with the biggest heart and the biggest light are the vulnerable. The capability of being your true self with no bubble around you. Sure, it brings attention to you and it may put you in places in which you cannot hide. But if you choose to be vulnerable, there is no need to hide. Imagine what the world would be without those in the past whom were vulnerable. People change the world with their vulnerability. I would rather walk around naked then be covered in layers of something or someone I am not. It gives you power. It says, “This is me. Like it or not.”
One of the reasons I started this blog was to help others but to also push myself. Make myself vulnerable. By not hiding and giving myself power, it takes the power away from those who feel like they had it over me. Those who thought they knew the dirt under my fingernails. Those who wanted to tell everyone about me because they thought they knew who I was. Now I contain that power. I hold it in my walk, in the way I speak, and in each of the palms of my hands. I have the power.
Take your power. Be vulnerable. For if you are not vulnerable, you take the power away from yourself. Be the warmth. Make friends out of strangers. Be friends with yourself.