It is both a curse and a blessing to believe there is good in all people. It is both a blessing and a curse to be such a lover. You hold on to those who treat you badly just because of the tiny piece of love they hand you. Most days of my life I do not even realize I think this way. Until the day my heartbreaks and I wish that I did not give all of my love to someone that tears me down.
After 19 years some may think I would have learned my lesson. Well I have not. Each day I live, I am still meeting new friends, new loves, and thinking this time will be the time I will not get hurt. This time I will be right in what I believe is to be true about this person. But no. I still let people walk on me until they are the one that chooses to leave. I always thought of this as one of the saddest stories I tell. The fact that I never feel like I am the one getting the love. Until now. Now I see how beautiful this story is.
I am a very sensitive soul, I wear my heart on my sleeve, and all I wish in life is to love and be loved. Each time I am sitting with tears in my eyes, I am told that life is a game. That you have to “play hard to get” in order to be wanted. I have always despised being told that because never in my life will I change my heart for one to love me. But never did it occur to me why I thought this way.
Sitting here now, I realize just the reasons why I will not give up on loving people the way I wish to. That is because I always knew in my heart, the right people would want me just the way I am. They would see that heart on my sleeve and care for it. I will keep loving the way I wish because my lover is out there craving to feel loved the way I love the wrong people. And the “wrong” ones I have given my whole heart to, maybe were not so wrong after all. I believe that there was something in them that needed my love the most at that moment, even if it was not reciprocated.
I will never regret the love I have given to the wrong ones.
This is for all of you who are told you are too sensitive. Who are told to minimize your emotions so others will treat you the way you wish. This is for the lovers that hurt more and more everyday. One day all of the love you have given will find it’s way back to you. It may be tomorrow, in ten years, or maybe it is happening right at this very moment. But never let the world make you hard. Do not let it take away that gift of love that so many people in this world need in their lives. And soon the right people will see that love is not such a scary word.
After all, “The more you love, the more you suffer.” I am telling you right now, the suffering is so worth it.