Every day my inner monologue questions what my thoughts are telling me. As I grow older and live longer with this disorder in my brain, I have learned to rethink every thought that comes to mind. “Is this reality? Or is my disorder telling me I suck?,” is usually what I have to take a … Continue reading I Am Not Sick, In A Sick World
Being 20 is like being a child again. Somehow after twenty years on this Earth, it feels like you have to relearn life. Relearn how to live as an adult. Relearn what family means, what home means. You have to relearn your safety, and who the real monsters are. You have to relearn how to … Continue reading Finding A Purpose, The 20 Year Old’s Fear
If we lived in a world where mental illnesses weren’t feared, the prison system would diminish. The next time I see a man tied down by twelve police officers for schizophrenia, will be the time I sit with him and call a psychiatrist. For police officers are no doctors although they believe so. The next … Continue reading The Next Time I Am Not Seen
I was born on February 9th, 2001. Twenty years later, this is me. I am made up of all the bad, the good, the beautiful, the ugly, the crazy, and the sane moments in my life. And only now, at 20 years old, can I say I am proud of the woman I am today. … Continue reading This Is My Life, I Choose To Live It
I have written this blog every year, on this day, the day that I decided to live. And each year my goal has been to let all of my readers know that suicide is not the answer. I mean if I did not make it past sixteen, I would have missed out on the most … Continue reading For My Friends, You Saved My Life
There were many things I learned within the past year. Like how gross cleaning up dog puke is. I learned certain actions that trigger my episodes. I learned how to let go, and how to let in. I learned how gross we were before a pandemic hit. (Bowling???? All of our fingers in the same … Continue reading New Year, Same BS, Stronger Me
If there was one word to describe how I have been feeling lately, it would be drained. To be honest, I am sick of it. I am sick of feeling sick. I am sick of the meds. I am sick of the psychiatrist appointments and talking to my therapist. I am sick of feeling numb … Continue reading How I Have Been Feeling
I was diagnosed with bi-polar in 2017, I can’t remember which type of bi-polar because I didn’t think that was important. As I read the definitions from Google now, I could see myself belonging in 1 then but 2 now. I think that’s a major point, because I could interpret that there is no difference … Continue reading A Takeover With Charles Fox
Life scares me. More than I would like to admit. I never really notice how scared I am, until life hits me. When it's too late to tell someone I love them one more time. When sickness overcomes health. When sadness turns into suicide. When protests turn into wars. Life changes within seconds, and all … Continue reading Be Kind to You
I often say I am an "open book." Whether it be me being the loudest in the room or me sharing my struggles in life on social media, I have always been a very real person. But the one thing that I feel I could be a million times more real on is, what mood … Continue reading What Mood Swings REALLY Look Like…
